Self-confidence is the result of the body’s responses to everything that has been experienced from childhood to adulthood. Therefore, if you suffer from a lack of confidence, know that it is due to some situation experienced from a lot of stress, disappointment, or humiliation that impacted the construction of your self-image.
The lack of self-confidence is linked to both the feeling of inferiority and the fear of suffering some rejection.
The feeling of inferiority is an emotional state, where the individual believes he is not good enough in everything he does. This feeling generates a fear of rejection. These individuals tend to compare themselves with others and feel inferior, causing the fear of failure, being frustrated, and receiving criticism.
This insecurity tends to hinder people’s lives because insecure people tend to charge themselves too much. This charge leads to stress, as the person does not think he can fulfil his duties.
Why does it happen?
It happens because each person has a different reference map about the world, just as we have different ambitions and pleasures. While some children are learning to pedal, they fall to the ground and cry for an hour, others pedal with tears on their faces until they learn to pedal in the same hour.
We are programmed, built by our perspective of seeing things. That is why we are not the same, neither in thoughts nor in abilities; however, as we have the same abilities, we can learn any human skill.
This can be accomplished with a simple mental reprogramming that compensates for your skills.
Know the main symptoms of lack of confidence
- Excessive perfectionism;
- Difficulty in exposing yourself in public and exposing your ideas;
- The custom of seeing only your limitations and not trusting your abilities;
- Difficulty saying no to other people;
- The tendency to procrastinate;
- A habit of comparing yourself at all times;
- Inability to receive criticism;
- Fear of taking chances;
- Believing that you can’t handle it, and with that, lose opportunities.
Of course, we all feel a chill in the belly when facing unusual situations, such as speaking in public, presenting seminar papers, going to a job interview, or several other situations, and this is completely normal.
However, some people constantly suffer from a lack of confidence, even in moments that are not subject to any threat.
The lack of self-confidence destroys many dreams because they are convinced that the ideas are not good enough, preventing evolution.
Self-confidence does not arise spontaneously; in fact, it is built over time and requires work.
It cannot be learned as a set of norms, as it is something deeper and is built from your mental state.
Thinking about it, we brought you some tips that can help you overcome your lack of confidence.
As self-confidence is linked to past traumas, seeking help to create a new conception of these points can help.
The professional will identify what led you to develop a certain fear or problem to determine why certain insecurities influence your daily life.
Also, try to question yourself, and try to have a proactive perspective looking for alternatives to change and move forward.
First of all, you need to know yourself, to trust your skills and qualities later.
So do self-assessment exercises to identify your strengths and skills. With this, you will know which features should be worked on and improved.
Know your true self, and always keep in mind that the things you’ve been through make you special and unique in the world.
Believe in yourself
Self-confidence can be destroyed when we start comparing ourselves to other people.
Do not waste time comparing yourself with others and feeling self-pity; spend all that energy on improving your skills and fulfill your purposes and goals!
Be responsible for your choices
You must be responsible for your life’s choices. Self-confidence increases when we are in control of our own lives. In that sense, it is necessary to make decisions that will help you to overcome difficulties. This will also help you to solve the problem of a lack of confidence.
Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.
Leaving the comfort zone may surprise you, as you will find several possibilities that you have always been unable to explore.
Explore your true skills, thus taking a big step towards gaining your self-confidence.
Engage in physical activities
Practicing physical exercises combats shyness, as the activities help body language, making the person not feel trapped in everyday situations.
Usually, people who suffer from a lack of confidence are withdrawn and do not like to expose themselves. Undoubtedly, the practice of physical exercise works your posture, which can influence the acquisition of confidence.
Some studies prove that physical activity has the power to increase confidence. So make self-care a priority. When you can feel good physically, you will also feel more confident.
Live situations positively
As you have seen so far, verbal persuasion is a very important element in the development of self-confidence. So be positive even if you are going through a period when you feel that things are not going your way. Stop focusing on problems and focus your energy on solutions and positive changes.
Low self-confidence is often associated with thoughts of failure and negative thoughts that mediate between you and your goals. If you are constantly repeating to yourself that you are not up to it, all you will get is a “self-fulfilling prophecy.” So even in unpleasant moments, motivate yourself.
For example, you may have to make a university presentation and notice that you do not have enough confidence in yourself. In this type of case, what works is to prepare your presentation well so that when the day comes, you fully trust your possibilities.
Another example may be that you have started working in front of the public, and as part of your work, you have to give a welcome speech to customers. Since you have never done this type of task, you may not have full confidence in yourself. In this case, you can prepare your speech well, and in this way, you will feel comfortable and safe in front of the clients.
Whatever is on your target list, being well prepared and feeling like you are mastering what you do increases your self-confidence.
Make a list of what you have already accomplished and remind yourself
As in the first point, difficult times can make you doubt and cause your confidence to be eroded. And considering that life is full of changes, and sometimes it is difficult to stay up. In cases like this, it is ideal to have a list of what you have achieved so far concerning your goal since visualizing your progression can help you motivate yourself in difficult times.
The engine of self-confidence is action: if you dare to act, then you gain self-confidence. Experiences constitute the most important source of self-confidence information.
It may happen that, even before you act, you are already visualizing failure. Well, remember: if you do not act, you lose 100% of the opportunities to achieve what you want.
Accept any past failure
And what happens if you act and it goes wrong? Well, execution achievements are our perception of our victories and failures. By perception, we mean the assessment you make of the events that have happened. If it has gone wrong, you have to accept it and also see the small successes, which surely are, even in the failures.
Self-confidence only develops if we manage to overcome the obstacles that we put ourselves: on the one hand, resignation (which has to do with acting), and on the other hand, criticism. Seeing successes as the sum of our failures can help us gain self-confidence.
Observe successful people
Observing or imagining other people carrying out certain activities successfully can positively influence self-confidence.
This is one of the techniques used in coaching to increase clients’ confidence since it is useful when the latter do not have great knowledge of their abilities or have little experience in the task to be performed.
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